Love, Desire, and Trust

The books, in order

1. 1

   Relationships · 16 min

   Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

   Helen Fisher

   According to Fisher, lust, attraction, and attachment work as three separate systems in the brain, which would help explain why you can feel each one for different people at the same time.

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2. 2

   Relationships · 15 min

   Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

   Steve Harvey

   The ninety-day rule, the most criticized part of the book, shows the risk of turning one TV host's opinion into a rule for every relationship.

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3. 3

   Relationships · 17 min

   On Love

   Alain de Botton

   Heated domestic arguments rarely stem from a wet towel on the floor or a minor delay; deep down, that friction masks the anxiety of losing personal space and autonomy in a shared life.

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4. 4

   Relationships · 16 min

   Women Who Love Too Much

   Robin Norwood

   According to Norwood, women used to difficult relationships confuse calm with lack of interest: a steady partner, with no crisis to solve, ends up looking like the least interesting candidate on the list.

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5. 5

   Relationships · 16 min

   How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

   John Van Epp

   According to the author, the way someone watched their parents handle conflict at home tends to show up again, without warning, in their adult relationships.

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6. 6

   Relationships · 18 min

   The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

   Esther Perel

   The pain of infidelity cuts deeper in modern marriage because we now expect a single partner to fulfill all the emotional roles that once belonged to an entire community.

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7. 7

   Relationships · 17 min

   His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

   Willard F. Harley Jr.

   For Harley, small gestures repeated every day weigh more in the Love Bank than an expensive gift given once a year.

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8. 8

   Psychology · 16 min

   The Art of Loving

   Erich Fromm

   For Fromm, care without responsibility is just a passing interest, and respect without knowledge turns into guesswork about who the other person is, not real love.

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9. 9

   Relationships · 16 min

   Getting the Love You Want

   Harville Hendrix

   According to the author, your partner doesn't change after the honeymoon: what changes is the lovestruck filter that used to hide traits that were there from the very beginning.

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10. 10

    Relationships · 15 min

    Liquid Love: On the Frailty of Human Bonds

    Zygmunt Bauman

    According to the book, keeping someone as a pocket relationship, available but without commitment, keeps that bond from maturing into something more solid.

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