Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

Sherry Argov's book was written for women who recognize a pattern in themselves: they give everything in a relationship, erase themselves to please, and still feel that the other person loses interest. The author tries to name the problem and proposes a change of attitude.

In the original English, the title uses a harsh word to describe the woman who has self-respect and won't accept being treated any old way. The Brazilian edition softened it to powerful women. In both cases, the idea is the same: it's not about being harsh or arrogant, but about having a firm core that doesn't fall apart in the face of a partner's approval.

The author contrasts this woman with the one who lives to please, the one who says yes to everything, anticipates every desire, and loses her own center. According to the book, this behavior, which looks like generosity, ends up draining the fun out of the relationship and the strength out of the woman.

The first practical piece of advice is to cultivate a life that doesn't revolve around your partner. Work, friends, studies, hobbies, family, and personal projects form a foundation that provides security and interest. A woman who exists only in relation to her boyfriend demands from him a happiness that should come from many sources.

The book argues that this independence also sparks attraction: people who are busy with their own dreams have stories to tell and don't smother the other person. Hence the recommendation to keep your commitments, even when the relationship is exciting.

In an everyday example, imagine the woman who cancels her evening class every time her boyfriend asks her out, and the one who keeps her class and schedules another day. The second one, in the book's view, communicates that she has priorities and that her time has value.

Another pillar is the idea of boundaries. The author insists that anyone who accepts disrespect, such as unannounced lateness, rudeness, disappearances, and broken promises, teaches the partner that it costs nothing. On the other hand, someone who calmly states what she won't tolerate sends a clear message.

The recommendation is to act rather than just complain. If someone cancels at the last minute, the woman can choose not to chase after him or make herself constantly available. Boundaries, for the book, are not threats or punishments, but consistency between what you say and what you do.

There is a healthy core here that applies to any relationship: respect is built when each person knows what they accept and what they don't. This goes for dating, friendship, and work.